QUIPQUIPQUIP

All of your ideas are terrigreat okay

Everything I touch is terrigreat.

Hiruko sends me the best emails/texts, pretty much in the history of ever. I have to share a portion of the email she sent me yesterday, because I feel like tumblr will appreciate this as much as I did. I was tempted to post the entire email, since it’s a beautiful rant on Miller!Batman, but I only asked her permission to post the Jason bits, SO.

Jason, though, actually understands intersectionality? Like I feel like him using a full face mask was not just because he didn’t want his secret ID out. It’s androgyny. Under the mask he could be ANYONE. He could be black or white or latino or asian, he could be rich or poor, he could be gay or trans, he could even be a crossdressing woman. No one KNOWS. How useful must that androgyny have been in making bonds with people? How much safer must POC felt around him? He gets that he has to be seen as relatable and not a dangerous, abusive authority, which, let’s be real, a lot of incarnations of Batman, ESPECIALLY MILLER!BATS, would be seen as. I also feel like his conception of due process would be WAY WAY DIFFERENT than it’s been so far. Because let’s be real, due process doesn’t always happen. Justice is great in theory but look at the number of rapists who ever actually spend a day in prison (1 in 16 I think). Plus the universe functions in a way that supervillians NEVER suffer punishment, at least not permanently. Also the bat universe’s treatment of nueroatypical people is… really fucked up. I mean I can’t think of a “crazy” person in batman who isn’t a villain, even though those with mental illnesses are WAY MORE LIKELY to be exploited than to hurt someone else. I don’t think Jason would have necessarily been ADORED by the average Gotham citizen, but I think he’d be more popular than Batman.

[…] in my brain Jason is way more of a strategically violent activist and is awesome. Here is what his schedule looks like on an average day:

2:00 pm: Finally wake up. Take a shower, do some warm ups and a work out so he’ll be limber for the day ahead.

2:30: breakfast/lunch at a local diner. It used to be owned by a guy who exploited undocumented workers and poor people who worked for him- made them work overtime without compensation, messed with their pay, didn’t pay minimum wage, threatened his workers with being fired to keep them in line ect. Jason found out, broke both the owner’s legs, and scared him into selling Jason the restaurant through a shell company. Now all the workers get paid a living wage and Jason pays for health insurance, and everyone gets two days off a week. He also pays for hungry people in the neighborhood to eat there for free, and when he eats there he always flirts with the middle aged waitresses to flatter them and tips big. There’s a coalition of grannies who frequent the diner who LOVE Jason to death and who always tell him he’s too skinny and try to talk him into dating their granddaughters (and in Ms. Chavez’s case her grandson Emilio).

3:30: Swing by a local community center Jason donates to frequently to play games with the kids there.

4:00: leave the center and spends about an hour and a half looking for guys who catcall and harrass women from cars. When he finds one, he jumps on the roof of their car, punches through the windshield, makes the driver pull over, slashes all four tires, takes a picture of the catcallers’s faces with a cellphone and then tells them that the next time he catches them pulling that shit he’ll cut off their balls and cut out their tongues. He has to switch neighborhoods about every two months because eventually people figure out not to catcall women in that area.

5:30: Have dinner and talk with his lackeys about how stuff in the drug dealing business is going and lay out plans.

8:00: Swing by an Interfaith gym where he does another light work out and teaches a self defense class. (In my secret heart of hearts he also encourages an all hijabi boxing league called the TerrorFists)

10:00: More handling shit as the Red Hood.

1:30 am: talks to a group of prostitutes about an underground health clinic he funds- it provides check ups, birth control, hormones for trans* people, retrovirals, and addiction treatments and other specialized treatments for poor people. For his trouble he gets the name of a cop who likes to beat up hookers.

2:30 am: taking care of the cop who likes to beat up hookers

3:00 am: He blows up a set of apartment buildings that are the first step in gentrifying a poor neighborhood with mostly black residents. Poison Ivy then helps him plant a community garden on the grounds. The place is ringed by vines that are sentient enough to strangle anyone who comes into the garden to wreck it.

4:00 am: The bars are closing. He goes to one where a transwoman works as a bartender and she gives him a free drink or two and then he walks her home to make sure she gets there safe.

4:45 am: heads to a sexual abuse crisis center. He drops some more money to help get rape kits tested and in return is given a list of names of repeat offenders. Other nights he goes to a woman’s shelter instead, looking for the names of abusers.

5:30 am: shoots some people

6 am: home to bed.

Finally getting to read the Sam Wilson-and-Bucky-are-boyfriends-and-they-adopt-Rikki-and-suddenly-all-of-Steve’s-former-partners-live-in-one-house-and-it’s-beautiful-fic that Hiruko emailed me last night to cheer me up. FLAWLESS Rikki and Bucky bonding, omg. I keep making noises and clutching at my face because it is so perfect.

Hiruko is the only only that understands how much I love dead sidekicks.

gallifreyancloisterbell asked: Okay so on Facebook there's this game called "Avengers Alliance" where you are an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. and you recruit heroes to fight bad guys and stuff. And there's a mission where you team up with Captain America, and my question is: is it a bad thing that I feel kind of warm and fuzzy and proud when he tells me "Well done, Agent" even though it's a preprogrammed response and all? I mean I just feel like Steve Rogers gave me an approving pat on the shoulder and it's a nice feeling. #capfeels

There is nothing wrong with that. That is one of the best things about Steve Rogers—-he loves you and is proud of you and wants you to be the best person you can possibly be, no matter who you are. And that is why Hiruko and I have plans to make a superhero strip club, so that we can have a Cap that will give you hugs.

(Best retirement plan or BEST RETIREMENT PLAN.)

Top Five Floppies

(asked by frozen-water-droplet)

1. Captain America v5 #7 
2. Young Allies Comics #1
3. Batgirl #17
4. Detective Comics #854
5. Detective Comics #859

Top Five Dead Sidekicks

(asked by mindgoggling)

1. J. Bucky Barnes
2. Tom Raymond
3. Stephanie Brown
4. Jason Todd
5. Rikki Barnes

Top Five Desserts

(asked by starkexpos)

1. Creme brulé
2. Ice cream
3. Sweet bread
4. Flan
5. Brownies

Top Five Things I’ve Written

(asked by anonymous)

1. NDND, specifically Part Three and Part Seven
2. WWBGD OR Clementia OR Adventures in the Elevator of Despair (I CAN’T DECIDE, AND I ALSO CAN’T COUNT)
3. Take the Heat Out of Me, specifically Part Three
4. You Left Me in the Dark, specifically Part Two
5. Shake Your Tailfeathers, specifically Part Two

mindgoggling asked: pondering. "Friends and family keep you sane," she finally says. "Latch on to them and don't let go." Down below, on the ground, a little flash of auburn catches her eye, and before she even realizes it, she's adding "And watch out for redheads. For us, they're heartbreakers."

MY HEART.

The tragic love affair between spider-folk and redheads is canon. I don’t care what anyone says. It’s a part of the whole spider totem shebang.

Thank you so much slkfj ♥

mindgoggling asked: do this everyday. It's crazy. How?" he asks. Anya pauses. She's probably not the best rolemodel ever, so maybe she's not the best person to ask. But she's been in his shoes before, and as freaky as it is to not be the baby of the spider-fam here, she knows she can do right by him. "Well, you already know the most important part. With great power-" "Comes great responsibility. I know," he says, a little annoyed. "But how do you do this without going crazy? Or puking?" Anya bites her lower lip,

hsfklj Anya being a good spidersis to Miles

I

You know exactly what I want out of life, Hiruko.

mindgoggling asked: but the kid in the black and red suit was pretty okay. Unsure and awkward, yeah, but Anya prides herself in seeing potential, and she's pretty sure this kid has it. Miles- (Anya wheedled his name out of him with the earnest but dubious logic that she was from another universe, and going back in a couple of hours, as soon as Valeria fixed their inter-dimensional portal, so who was she going to tell?) stares at his hotdog with probably more attention to detail than is wise. "I don't know how you

YES

YES

ANYA AND MILES

YES

TONIGHT IS LIKE FIC CHRISTMAS FOR ME.

mindgoggling asked: Even though about thirty minutes ago, Anya had been telling herself that she would never, ever babysit at the Fantastic Four's place ever, ever again (that was if Sue ever trusted Anya with her children ever again, which was really unlikely, what with the multi-dimensional surprise field trip she'd been conned into), she realized she was actually pretty happy now. Her happy place is perched on a building, eating hot dogs with Spider-man. And, okay, he may not be pubescent yet, or her Spider-man,

Oh holy cats

IS THIS GOING WHERE I THINK IT IS GOING