Nobody could possibly understand how much I love Subby. Actually, you know what? Let me give you a few more reasons to love him.
Namor is excellent with any and all firebugs. In fact, Jim Hammond is the first air-breather that gained his respect and admiration. We’re just going to ignore that Jim’s a robot and not actually a human, because look, it’s the thought that counts.
Look at the kind of friends he has! You know you have to be a badass if your robot bffer and his hotpants-wearing underage sidekick are the ones that roasted Hitler.
Also, he totally thinks that Napoleon is dreamy.
How does Namor spend Criss-Mass? He goes to the grave of the hotpants-wearing underage sidekick and pays his respects. Because Namor has class. Sidenote: when he says that he has had his own experiences with missing time, he means that for a while he had amnesia, grew a beard, and became a hobo.
Fuck Captain Planet. We’ve got Namor in a power suit, and he’s going to save the environment. Would you litter if you had that pointy-eared GQMF glaring at you? No. You wouldn’t. Because he wears scaly panties and has wings on his ankles and he’s STILL more of a badass than you.
I mean, just LOOK at him here. This is from the Marvel Swim Suit issue. Since the scaly panties were his norm, he had to kick it up a notch. And that is why his fishstick is being lovingly cradled by a single straining seashell.
The Blazing Skull tells it like it is.
OKAY, I HAVE TO STOP, BECAUSE I COULD LITERALLY DO THIS ALL NIGHT. I LOVE THIS ANKLE-WING-ROCKIN’ JERKFACE. INVADERS = BEST TEAM IN THE HISTORY OF EVER, THE END.